My Disney Cruise Line Audition PART 1
Hi everyone!
I mentioned a few months ago that I would share my ORIGINAL journal entry from the time I auditioned for Disney Cruise Line in *2010* (cough cough), and I've decided that it's TIME. Please enjoy this very unfiltered and excited perspective of a young girl following her dreams. May this energy follow you all in 2026!
"Once upon a time, in the year 2010"
There are moments that exist in one’s memory that are perceived with more clarity than others. Sometimes they are filled with joy, while others are difficult to look back on without receiving goose pimples up and down your arms, due to the emotional impact. Up until a certain point, I had not a single ounce of faith in where the pathway in my life would take me. I was in a state of loneliness, uncertainty and absolute confusion. I had recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months, whom I loved and cared for deeply. I deeply regretted the decision of making the goodbye final. For months, I would sit by a tree on a small hill at the community college, and write poetry about the feeling I could not express to anyone else. I had many dreams of someday pursuing a career in theater, but, these dreams did not feel reachable at all, due to the hollow pit I felt in my chest.
But then, the day had arrived:
A dream that once seemed completely out of reach, was now smiling at me straight in the eyes with a newfound sense of absolute reality. It was a dream I had always had, one of bringing joy to those all around the world through song and dance, and it was now being handed to me, right inside of The Screenland Studios building in North Hollywood. The sky was uniquely clear that day, and the smog had been lifted from the city skyline. I found the sunshine comforting on my pale face, as we pulled into the parking lot of the audition location in my mother’s gold SUV. The roof over my head reminded me that my body was still stationary, despite the ten thousand butterflies in my stomach. By this point, I felt that the little insects were beginning to make permanent homes inside of me, and were now inviting all of their caterpillar friends over to make chrysalises in the honor of auditions, tests and all other things nerve-racking. I could have floated away from the power their wings possessed. I drew in a few staggered breaths, as I then suddenly made eye contact with myself in the reflection of the car window. Thoughts began to race through my mind, as the lyrics of the audition song I had memorized made themselves known to me and softly became the soundtrack of my heart. In that small moment, I knew myself deeper than I had ever known. I was face to face with my spirit, and I was extremely afraid. I was afraid of failing, falling, flubbing, or of forgetting all that I had worked so hard on for many years to better my craft as a performer. Nonetheless, I truly knew that I was most afraid of was the possibility of actually succeeding and receiving positivity in the constant battle I felt I faced in my everyday life. If I were to book this job, I would have to admit that I was worth something of importance. My predictions of the future, my laziness, my worry, my doubt and insecurity would somehow come back to haunt me and remind me that I had wasted all of that time focusing on an illusion. I wasn’t ready to see what I was capable of. The knowledge of my own strength was an unknown phenomenon. If I were to become something great, I would not have an excuse to beat myself down in all that I did, and will do; I knew that my comfort zone relied on this. At the thought of this realization, my heart beat began to race even quicker. As I continued to stare at the reflection, I noticed that there were previous markings on the glass that I had made with my fingertip a few weeks back. A lopsided heart symbol was etched, a few smiley faces and a message that I could no longer decipher. The letters were smudged and washed away from time passing, but I somehow found relief in the mystery. I began to imagine what this once readable message described, explained or revealed in its words. I closed my eyes and created a complete scenario of this important letter that miraculously reached me just in time for my Disney Cruise Line audition. The letter read, “Do not be afraid, for you are meant to be here, in this moment, and on this day.” I repeated those words over and over again, until they began to sink in as truth.
As I approached the building, there were gorgeous people everywhere I looked. Women and men much older, taller and more graceful than I felt, were scattered along the sidewalk, waiting to perform and show the world what they were made of. I stared down at my trembling hands, and wiped away the sweat of my palms on my cream colored dress, that I had just purchased the week before. It now seemed like a silly choice to wear such an item. It looked immature, almost doll-like and I wished I had worn a more subtle frock. But, I knew there was no possible way to turn back, for the time had arrived for me to follow my life calling and place myself in the most vulnerable position imaginable. My shoes were softly clicking on the pavement, and I was aware of every sound around my body. My mother, sister and best friend, Veronika were all trailing behind me, as I then stepped carefully through the glass front door. The moment I stepped into the studio, the most magical thing happened; I was almost immediately overcome with an ethereal sense of peace. It reached the top of my skull to the bottom of my toes, and soothed me to the bone. The room began to spin slowly, rather than rapidly, as it was a few moments before, and the butterflies subsided, as if they had fallen asleep. I looked toward my mother and smiled. I knew that the message I had created from the cryptic letters on the car window had been absolutely true, and I felt a transformation take place in me. It was unlike anything I had ever felt. Ever since I could remember, I had a nervous tendency toward every event in my life, and rarely felt comfortable, and yet, here I was, given the most life-changing opportunity and I felt the most at ease I had ever been in my 18 years of living. I handed in my headshot and resume to the casting director, and slowly took a seat in a large room with mirrored walls. A circle of chairs were all around me. Veronika was auditioning as well, so it was very nice to have a friend to confide in. We sat down toward the back of the room and began to whisper and giggle. We were both extremely excited, and could hardly sit still. Once all of the singers had signed in, an announcement was made about the process of the day. My breathing was so choked up, that I thought I might burst. I watched, as numbers were slowly called out, and the lines of nail-biting young people began to file up to reach their turn. I was number 37, I believe, so I had some time to collect myself. I couldn’t wait to have an opportunity to follow my heart’s calling. The expressions of all of the people around me, spoke differently to me. Some had their headphones in to set their mind in the right place, others were socializing and laughing loudly, while others were gripping onto someone or something for dear life. I was usually in the place of the last person I described, but for some odd reason, I felt not one ounce of anxiety. I just knew that I was meant to be there, and that if I. After an hour or two of waiting , my number was finally called. At the sound of this, my entire body felt electrified, and suddenly alert. I pushed myself up and made eye contact with many of the new friends I had made throughout the day. They were all smiling at me, as if to cheer me on, and I could feel the support from all of my loved ones back home in that moment. Flashes of color sprang before my eyes, most of which were colors that reminded me of my animals, my papa, and even my ex-boyfriend who I had broken up with only a month before; they were all smiling and nodding to remind me of what I could be. Something inside of me knew that even though I was the youngest and least experienced girl at that audition, I was going to enjoy every moment of the day, and in that audition room.
While I waited in line, I could see my sister and mother relaxing in the sitting room just outside of the studio. I smiled and waved at them, and they lit up with excitement. My mother then looked at me, and motioned in a pantomime way, “you look so peaceful”. I then thanked her and realized then, just how peaceful I truly felt. I could feel the air around me lift me up, as if I were levitating, as the time came for me to open the door and step into the audition space, with my sheet music underneath my arm and a hopeful heart beating in my chest. I was greeted by a fresh-faced man, with black-rimmed glasses and a sparkling smile, who immediately struck me as a happy and genuine guy. I looked to my left, and the pianist was at his instrument, ready for me to hand him my music and start to sing. There were mirrors all around us. I asked them how they were, and they responded in a friendly fashion. I said my name, and introduced the piece I was about to perform, and it all happened like clockwork. The man with the glasses, who I later found out was named, Daniel, was beaming at me as if the sunrays that were warming my face earlier were now radiating out of him. He looked so happy, and I felt so happy, as I sang my heart out to him. After the song had ended, he looked at me and softly said, “That was wonderful, Monica, really, really wonderful. I would like to call you back for the role of Cinderella, if that’s alright.” He handed me the music that I needed to memorize for the next round. It was all moving in slow motion. I then realized that the call back was the next day, and our flight back home was in conflict with it. I kindly let him know of the situation, and he understood completely.
“Alright, well, how about after I’m finished with all of the other auditions, you can come back at around 3:00 today and you can audition then.”
It was all so surreal, as I thanked him over and over on my way out, getting ready to do a somersault into the crowd of people in line. As soon as I left the audition room, I ran with all of my might toward my mother and sister, expressing my absolute joy! We all celebrated, and I could finally see hope at the end of a dark tunnel. I leapt into the air, and slightly shrieked with happiness. The entire room looked and smiled at me, as colors surrounded my eyes once again.
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